whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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