Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
