That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
