So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
