At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
