I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
