I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i think my mom watched the whole time
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
