She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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