you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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