I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
