well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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