oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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