I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
