I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
