Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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