Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
