Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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