Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
