her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
