Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
