Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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