these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
