In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
