you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
