Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
