She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I cut my penus on the lid.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
