when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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