Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
