i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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