Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
they're like a gay fantastic four
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
