Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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