there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
