The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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