It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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