So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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