barbara walters just said penis...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
