A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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