I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
