he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize