Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I need a beard to bite.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
