So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
