we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
