one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
