Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you win again, gameday.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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