I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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