office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
