Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
