Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm too high and old for this...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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