No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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