Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
