new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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