He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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