I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
