No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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