i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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