I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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