all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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