Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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