New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
