So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
