I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
