I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You ruined the universe
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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